Xpress staffers Lisa Watters and Arenda Manning ask for a little pre-Thanksgiving cheering up.
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Are they hungover? Their request seemed painful.
By RidgerunnerJ59
11/21/2011
FANGSGIBBON!
By Jesse Michel
11/21/2011
Three coworkers were driving to another city for a business meeting the next day. One was a Hindu, one was Jewish, one a conservative Christian. Their car broke down in the boonies. They spot a lone farmhouse nearby, whereby they went to ask if they could spend the night. The farmer agreed, but told them he only had one spare bedroom with two beds, so one would have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu agreed. After ten minutes or so, a loud knock was heard at the door. The Hindu said he could not sleep there as the farmer had a cow, which is sacred in his religion. The Jewish man then volunteered to sleep in the barn, having no concerns about cows. Ten minutes later, another knock. The Jewish man said he could not sleep in the barn as the farmer had a pig, which made the man uncomfortable to sleep near. Finally the conservative Christian, tired of being awakened, agreed to sleep in the barn. After another ten minutes, another very loud knock on the door. When the farmer opened it, the pig and the cow were standing there.
By Dionysis
11/21/2011
What is "fangsgibbon"?
By RidgerunnerJ59
11/21/2011
Hippy is walking down a trail one day, and he comes upon an old bottle. He picks it up & rubs it, and *bing* a Genie pops out.
Genie says, "You get three wishes for releasing me".
Hippy thinks about it, and says, "I want a never-ending joint!"
Genie snaps his fingers, and *bing* - Hippy has a joint in his hands.
Hippy lights it up, smokes it down to nothing, and it grows back right before his eyes. "Never-ending joint. Cool!"
Genie says, "OK, you have two more wishes. What's it going to be?"
With a big smile, Hippy says, "I'll take two more just like this one!"
By Barry Summers
11/21/2011
Just like a Hippy! Always thinking of his friends.
By zen
11/21/2011
Yes, when I tell that joke to hippies, there's always at least one who goes... "Hey I don't know, I might ask for that too - they would make cool gifts."
By Barry Summers
11/22/2011
The top 3 Samurai swordsmen agreed to have a contest to determine the best and most resourceful swordsman in all of Japan. In an arena all three were presented with a small easily-opened box with a fly inside.
The first Samurai uses the tip of his sword to release the fly and with one SWOOSH of the sword the fly is cut in half and the two halves of the fly fall to the ground. A hush falls over the judges.
The second Samurai releases his fly and with a double cut of SWOOSH SWOOSH the body of the fly hits the ground before him while the wings flutter quietly to the ground. The judges nod approvingly.
The third Samurai releases his fly and with a very close SWIT of the sword, the fly leaves the arena.
The master judge nods to the Samurai and softly says "It seems your fly has flown away."
"Yes," says the Samurai, "but he will no longer reproduce."
By zen
11/21/2011
A grasshopper walks into a pub and sits down at the bar.
The surprised bartender says, "Wow! Did you know that we have a drink named after you?"
The grasshopper replied, "Really? You've got a drink named 'Bob'?"
By Joke Lover
11/22/2011