Course 1: Maryland blue crabs — smashing the crabs is fun.
Course 2: Gumbo.
Course 3: Shrimp salad sandwich. I hate chicken salad, but I love shrimp salad.
Course 4: Caesar salad.
Course 5: A pork ramen bowl with an egg dropped into it — not poached, not fried on top, more like an egg-drop soup.
Course 6: Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Red Lobster. It's been so long since I've had them. I want some sort of bready thing. I'd dip the ... biscuits into the ramen bowl. Man, foodies are going to kill me. The locals are going to be like, “Red Lobster? What?”
Course 7: Mint chocolate chip ice cream. I feel like some of the best I've had has come from Ultimate [Ice Cream Company]. Their coffee Heath bar has made me a believer too, but if it was my last meal, I might have to go with the mint-chocolate chip.
Course 8: A bag of Sour Patch Kids.
Where? I just want to be doing it in my flip flops and my bathing suit with sand somewhere on my body, stuck to it. I would rather have my meal at the Salty Dog than Per Se. That's me. I would want it coursed out and brought to me politely, and sat in front of me, but I'd like the setting to be old-school Styrofoam life preservers and taxidermied fish everywhere.