Nothing against Greensboro; I know some fine people there, but the city is a typical boring white-bread clone-like city, virtually indistinguisable from countless others. 

Boring.

I’ve just checked the NCGA website, and there’s a bill in Raleigh that seizes control of Asheville’s ‘vibe’, and re-distributes it to boring communities all over the state.

Expect a lengthy court battle.

“...there’s a bill in Raleigh that seizes control of Asheville’s ‘vibe’, and re-distributes it to boring communities all over the state.”

Yes, but before any distribution begins, the secret vibe formula will be auctioned off to the highest bidding for-profit company, that will then be given preferential tax treatment (courtesy of those subsidy-loving NC taxpayers). Shortly thereafter, the winning company will begin production of the coveted product in China.  Of course, an exclusive contract with (Great)Wal-Mart of China will be inked to sell it.

A couple of people will make huge profits… so it’s all good.

But didn’t the author know Asheville is a cesspool of sin, a veritable Sodom and Gomorrah.  Greensborough is much safer staying white bread , homogonized and comfortably boring.  Goodness to wish our plight upon the fine Citizens of Greensboro is practically blasphemous.

For a moderately-priced franchise fee, you can open an Orbit DVD in Greensboro.

Careful, Orbit. Don’t get too big too fast - that was Krispy Kreme’s mistake.

Careful, Orbit. Don’t get too big too fast - that was Krispy Kreme’s mistake.

Now that’s one stock that I wish I had purchased on day one.

Not me. Mom taught me, if your Kreme is Krispy, it’s time to throw it out.

Boom! Take that, Greensboro! Can’t get jokes like that down in the flatlands!