Mountain Xpress Forums

Terrible, terrible jokes

2009-11-08T00:14:48-05:00

I thought we could use a bad joke thread. I don’t mean cruel jokes, or dirty jokes, just really bad ones.

For instance ...

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.

And ...

A policeman stopped a man who was walking along with a bear and ordered him to take it to the zoo at once. The next day the policeman saw the same man with the same bear.

“I thought I told you to take that bear to the zoo,” he said.

“I did,” said the man, “and now I’m taking him to see a movie.”

So, let’s hear your favorite terrible jokes.

FLAWG (Five Letters And Words Game)

2009-11-05T15:07:20-05:00

Here’s a favorite game of mine that I used to play long ago at another board, out at which, I hung.

You state a five-letter word, for example:

GROPE

Then the next poster makes a five-word sentence using the last poster’s word as an acronym, for example:

Grabbing rumps on purpose excites!

(You get extra cred if your sentence relates to the word, though that’s not absolutely necessary.)

After writing your sentence, you then posit another 5-letter word for the next person out of which, to make a sentence. Such as:

CLUMP

Then the next poster writes something like:

Can’t Lysol® Unclog My Plumbing?

...and so on.. until hilarity ensues.

So, I’ll start it off with this word:

MARSH

Black Lanterns

2009-07-21T16:34:20-05:00

Who’s reading this? Holy $#!+

Words and phrases that really bug us

2008-12-05T11:45:55-05:00

Actually, this started from another unrelated thread, but i thought i’d throw it out here.

It really lands harshly on my ear when somebody uses the word ‘proximity’ with the useless descriptive appendage of ‘close’

brebro:

You know what bugs me? “SAFE haven.”

zen:
And of course we’re in redundancyLand where i’ve heard “ink pen,” “cash money” and “ATM machine.”

What are your word annoyances?

Good Books

2009-01-30T01:29:12-05:00

The last really good book I read was “1491”. Anyone else read that?

NaNoWriMo

2009-10-08T22:31:28-05:00

Has anyone heard of this? Is anyone doing it? I’m going to do it.

Post the title of the book you’re currently reading

2009-08-04T19:09:58-05:00

Me? I’m working my way through Niall Ferguson’s Colossus: The Rise and Fall of the American Empire. I’m also stalled halfway through Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer.

Create Your Own Marvel Web Comic!

2009-10-21T21:38:54-05:00

This is so freakin awesome. I just started on a a comic strip, but you can create your own full comic book using Marvel’s little world of fun. I’d love to see what brebro and Bugg can do with this.

http://superherosquad.marvel.com/create_your_own_comic

Marvel Motion Comics

2009-10-17T13:41:49-05:00

Much like the Watchmen Motion Comic that came out on iTunes and DVD in support of the motion picture, Marvel is introducing their own motion comics, except they have full voice acting casts, whereas Watchmen was more like a traditional audio book, with a single reader voicing all the characters. This is the “Astonishing X-Men: Gifted” motion comic trailer, available on iTunes starting October 28. If only they had thought of this years ago, I would not have had to learn to read.

Of more interest to me, of course, are these outtakes from the voiceover auditions, from the crew that brings you Marvel Super Heroes: What The-?!

Use a New Word in a Sentence

2009-08-23T12:10:42-05:00

I have noticed that many of our posters have limited vocabularies..especially me..here’s a chance to improve your posting and up your stats..the rules? simple..

1..Post a new word or phrase

2.Use it in a sentence..

Example..

scram boogie

A term, mostly with negative connotation, used most commonly in the penitentary, more specifically in NYC and State prisons. It is basically a jail expression for “I don’t know you from Adam.” Referring to a person who the inmate, or person, is unaffiliated or unaware of. To call somebody Scram Boogie is pretty much a dis as it indicates that you are an unknown, a nobody, undeserving of props.
You gonna lend a pack to Scram Boogie…how you know that nigga even got commissary?

That Scram Boogie stole my socks.