Mountain Xpress Forums

spare the rod and spoil the child

2008-07-05T17:56:47-05:00

On the Discourse of Distractions blog i read (and responded):

I briefly visited one of my in-laws (Johnny, uncle to my wife) on the 4th. It was sort of a family reunion. One of the many children running wild in the yard (I know not his name nor his mother’s; my wife’s father was one of 15 children and it is much too difficult for me to remember their names and those of the 2-3 generations of offspring) was climbing on a rather young Bradford pear tree.

Bradfords are a very soft wood and tend to split easily. The child’s mother yelled at him to “get out of that tree right now!” When the child asked why, the mother said, “Because Johnny’s gonna whip you!” The child quickly climbed down.

Her ignorant comment immediately reminded me of this story, zen. I imagine the reason she didn’t say, “because I said so,” is that she had let this child get away with ignoring her so many times in the past, she knew her word carried no authority with the him. If she had said, “because you might break it,” i imagine his response would have been a look of confusion because she had failed to teach the child any sense of respect for other people’s property. Instead, she threatened the boy with violence, albeit deceitfully and vicariously.

Johnny is a very nice guy and certainly would not whip someone’s child, whether a relative or not. This mother, in her stupidity, has now instilled distrust and fear in this child - a fear that Johnny, given minor cause, will physically harm him. I wonder how many times in this child’s life she will teach him lessons like this - and what type of person he will grow up to be.

It’s amazing that parents use words instead of deeds to discipline. And i don’t mean ‘beating his ass’ but learning to follow up exactly and unfailingly with their threats. Sure, threaten to take away his gameboy for a week, go without supper, or even a spanking if the parent can do that with appropriate love, but follow through with it. Mete the punishment immediately and without malice, but don’t endlessly threaten for the very reason this story is a lesson - because, like drugs, you’ll have to escalate the dosage to have any effect at all!

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Probably my comment about spanking will be taken up as a symptom of child abuse, but as a child i was spanked when i deserved it and with love. i thank my parents to their very core because i needed it and they’re proud of how i turned out, loving, respectful and open.

Home schooling in WNC

2008-04-14T11:43:32-05:00

With so many parents opting for alternative education in the area, I thought it’d be a good idea to start a conversation about home schooling.

A few starting topics:

What are the challenges home schooling parents face these days?

Is increased regulation of home schooling making it more hassle than it’s worth?

Do the benefits of home schooling outweigh the risks?

Does home schooling — for either secular or religious reasons — still have a place in modern society?

What techniques and lesson formats do you find most useful when teaching your children?

How do you deal with others who feel that you’re “robbing” your child of socialization experiences?

For what it’s worth, I was home schooled for many years, so if you have questions about the impact of this educational format on adults, I’ll be more than happy to relate my experiences.

Favorite kid-friendly restaurants

2008-03-06T12:33:21-05:00

Recently, the topic of local kid-friendly restaurants came up in conversation, and I realized that I knew almost nothing about the topic. (Obviously, I’m not a parent.) Since we have a number of forum users with children, I thought I’d throw the topic out there, and see if what sort of list comes together.

Some starting points:

What is your favorite local kid-friendly restaurant, and why?

What makes a restaurant kid-friendly in the first place?

What easy steps could other restaurants make to become more kid-and-family friendly?

Vaccinations and the Hannah Poling case

2008-03-08T13:43:51-05:00

I was in process of writing an article on vaccinations for the Mt. X Kids Guide when the Hannah Poling case broke. So I wrote a breaking news story for the Mt. X blog yesterday with some local reaction to the case: http://www.mountainx.com/news/2008/030708_mercuryactivists.

I’m interested in what other parents think about this case and vaccinations in general. My kids were vaccinated (one before the removal of Thimerosal). I’m a big proponent of the flu vaccine, but now I’ve learned that some multi-dose flu vaccines do contain Thimerosal and the CDC has just recommended that all children aged 6 months to 18 years receive an annual flu shot.

What do y’all think?

Science Projects

2008-01-24T22:25:05-05:00

Oh Boy- my boy came home with a packet of papers, and the expectation that I could assist him in preparing his project. I want to, but I feel kinda lost about how…

Anyone have some experience with this? How do you help them get it going, even if you don’t know anything about the project they have selected?

What gets you through “hell” hour?

2008-01-14T15:27:20-05:00

In today’s column, Beer is good for you, I wrote about getting through “hell hour “with my kids. Hell hour is that time just before dinner when everyone in the family is tired, hungry, and whiny. I bring out the beer. And I often give my kids a healthy appetizer to keep ‘em quiet.

Anyone else got any good solutions for dealing with “hell hour”?

Edgy Mama discussion thread

2007-12-18T12:44:09-05:00

Want to gab a little about Xpress parenting column Edgy Mama? Here’s the place to do it.

For a complete list of Edgy Mama columns, visit http://www.mountainx.com/features/edgymama/

Intro and rules: Read before posting

2007-12-11T17:31:16-05:00

This forum is for discussion about local parenting, kid’s issues and related topics. Looking to talk about a kid-friendly menu at a local restaurant? Hoping to get a few tips on places to find affordable summer camps? Hoping to talk about the best schooling options for your offspring? Post about it here.

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