Kudzu is evil, kudzu will eat your dog. Kudzu will have your house for lunch and climb all your trees. Kudzu will chase you down the road and nip at your heels. Kudzu wants to conquer the world, then play with it for awhile before EATING IT!
Did I mention, kudzu is evil?
Yes, it is quite invasive. Back in the 1950s—right here in Buncombe County—when I was a little farm boy growing up, we had an erosion problem in one of our hillside fields. Lots of farmers did, hard rains washing out gullies and all. So the county agriculture extension agent came to my dad (and lots of other farm folk) and said, “Don’t you worry none about that darn old erosion now, you hear? We got us this great new plant from Japan called ‘Kudzu.’ You plant these here little green babies and your erosion problems are OVAH!”
Right.
We planted it.
I still live on that farm and—over the years, like many farmers around here—we have tried chopping, bush hogging, burning, defoliants, nuclear explosions, diverting asteroids from space and crashing them into that kudzu-choked field, and even Mexican laborers with weed-eaters. NOTHING STOPS KUDZU.
Drive throughout the south and you see lots of Kudzu, especially in Georgia where it is marching on Atlanta just like Sherman. Except Sherman just burned Atlanta, kudzu intends to EAT it, choked I-85 and I-285 and I-75 and ALL!
That’s kudzu.
Would you like some some shoots for your garden? No charge. Come on out and dig all you want. Bring some friends.
Did I mention kudzu is ALWAYS hungry?
Did I mention kudzu is evil.
Did I mention I hear an ominous vegetative rustling coming across my yard and