We were married about 4 years when my wife became unexpectedly pregnant. We fretted about it because we didn’t feel ready for a kid. Then it turned out to be a mistake and she was not actually pregnant. By then, we had come to not only accept, but get excited about the new arrival and were subsequently let down by the false positive outcome. So, we then pursued a plan of action involving getting her pregnant on purpose this time and it worked out quite well.
Possibly the reverse is just as interesting. Why i didn’t become a parent was most probably timing. In my first marriage her and i were too selfish (and recognized that) to change our lives to the very serious (and very fun too but in a different way) and responsible act of producing offspring in an already resource-burdened world.
Dating in between marriages i didn’t want kids because i didn’t want to be in the position of responsibility for a child without my full committment to the relationship.
Now that i am married again, my wife Helen has already produced one that is now in his 20s and we’re so in love that we don’t want (or need) to have children to keep us together.
So, selfishness is why i didn’t become a parent, in case you wanted to know.
Possibly the reverse is just as interesting. Why i didn’t become a parent was most probably timing. In my first marriage her and i were too selfish (and recognized that) to change our lives to the very serious (and very fun too but in a different way) and responsible act of producing offspring in an already resource-burdened world.
Dating in between marriages i didn’t want kids because i didn’t want to be in the position of responsibility for a child without my full committment to the relationship.
Now that i am married again, my wife Helen has already produced one that is now in his 20s and we’re so in love that we don’t want (or need) to have children to keep us together.
So, selfishness is why i didn’t become a parent, in case you wanted to know.
I don’t no if it was selfishness that has me in the same league as you Zen, but I sure am glad that I am.
Was it just a switch that went off one day? Did you always want to be one? Did you have an unplanned pregnancy and decide to go with it?
I’m curious about this, because the idea of having kids doesn’t appeal to me at all, but obviously there’s a reason people do it.
I wanted to “eventually” have children when I was in my 20s…..but kept waiting for the “right time”. When I was 35, my doctor told me that if I was serious about having kids, I should probably get myself over to a fertility specialist ‘cause things weren’t looking too promising.
In the three months or so while my partner and I were considering all of that…and not signing up for any maternity insurance…I got preggers. (wow, was the next visit to that doc an interesting one!)
So I guess it’s a bit of “yes” to all your questions, Steve.
I always knew I wanted to have kids. When I met my wife(ex) we knew that we wanted to have kids while we were younger just so we had more energy. I think for me I couldn’t imagine the human experience without having and raising a child. I sat in the audience this past weekend and watched my daughter sing in 4 different languages. Very rewarding ....
I have strong mating instincts so I have to try and talk myself out of kids…
So, selfishness is why i didn’t become a parent, in case you wanted to know.
Sounds about right for me, too. I don’t really understand kids—didn’t even when I was one—so the idea of being locked into taking care of one until it decides to turn against me and become a corporate CPA doesn’t hold much appeal. Plus, it would distract from my valuable video game time.
Total accident at the time, though we were planning to have a child at some point. It’s the best thing, next to my wife, that ever happened to me.
Steve Shanafelt - 27 January 2009 11:10 AM
Plus, it would distract from my valuable video game time.
Not necessarily, it’s just a matter of sharing. You know how to do that don’t you? Seriously, the only problem with that is the Mature games I have to hide.
Other than that, the glory of introducing my son to Star Wars is awesome. Then he decided he preferred the prequels, at which point he was forced to sleep outside for a month until he realized his error.
Not necessarily, it’s just a matter of sharing. You know how to do that don’t you? Seriously, the only problem with that is the Mature games I have to hide.
If God had wanted us to share our video games, he wouldn’t have created the Final Fantasy series or any of the good sandbox games (Bully, GTA, Spider-Man, etc).
Not necessarily, it’s just a matter of sharing. You know how to do that don’t you? Seriously, the only problem with that is the Mature games I have to hide.
If God had wanted us to share our video games, he wouldn’t have created the Final Fantasy series or any of the good sandbox games (Bully, GTA, Spider-Man, etc).
WTF? Are you serious? I’ll be starting a gaming thread later with which to belittle you.
