So my lady’s parents surprised us with a free cruise to Jamaica (somewhere we were planning on going to next year) and the Caymans.

I’m sure that there will be parts about this cruise that will be fun, but am I wrong for feeling bad about this? Not because it was a gift, but I’m sure there’s something hellishly evil about these cruises that I’m missing out on.

So, educate me, people.

Oh, you’ll find out.

just get away from it/them if you have a chance.

My lady, her parents or the cruise?

the cruise. the other two are up to your discretion.

get far, far away.

but dont get stuck there.

do her parents know what a horrible person you are?

No, leaving the ship is just what they WANT you to do! Don’t fall for it!

but how else is he gonna get ripped of by jamaicans?

Bugg - 08 October 2009 11:15 PM

So, educate me, people.

I take it you’ve never read “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” by DFW?

just dont bother yourself wit the slaves in the lower deck. you wont have to see them.

Just resign yourself to be a walking dollar sign (both to the locals awaiting your pre-determined port of call to their gauntlet of souvenir, merchandise, hair-braiding, ganja and refreshment stands where they will aggressively seek your business in a way that will make you miss the subtlety of panhandler alley in Asheville and to the cruise ship machine itself which is not satisfied to just get your payment for the trip but will unceasingly prod you to purchase photos documenting each in and exhalation during your voyage, along with auctions of fine painting, jewelry and watches, duty-free shop bargains and the exhaustive array of off-the-boat excursions that come in a variety of prices from more than you wanted to pay to why-do-I-already-need-a-paid-vacation-from-my-paid-vacation? all to be topped off at the end with the parade of empty hands and open envelopes of the many, many “suggested” gratuities to the entire staff and crew of the vessel that will leave you glad you paid all those port fees BEFORE you ran out of cash on the pirate, er cruise ship) and eating way too much food and you will enjoy it.

mat catastrophe - 09 October 2009 12:33 AM

Bugg - 08 October 2009 11:15 PM

So, educate me, people.

I take it you’ve never read “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” by DFW?

Hey, look what I found.

(right click and save, kids, it’s nearly 7 megs and will crush your browser like an egg)

(quoting oneself is the pinnacle of internet awesome)

I cannot swear this is the version I read.

I’ve read that. I love it and it made me fall in love with Mr. Wallace.

So, aside from the nuptials, how was the cruise?

It isn’t until April. We just did the beach trip we do every year with our friends and got married on a Thursday afternoon.  The cruise departs on Easter Sunday.

Oh, I was confused. Did you have a Good Friday?

It was cold and I met a black woman who shared first names with my mother.