Want to gab a little about Xpress parenting column Edgy Mama? Here’s the place to do it.

For a complete list of Edgy Mama columns, visit http://www.mountainx.com/features/edgymama/

Hmmmm. I’m not sure I’m ready for this, says Edgy Mama.

Sure ya are EM!  Helen and i read it all (no pressure) heh.

zen, you and Helen are so supportive and complimentary of my work, though. You’re my cheerleaders. For which I thank you!

I have a few questions: Is it ever weird writing about your own family? Do you ever worry that they’ll read something you wrote and feel angry or hurt? Do you ever worry about how your kids will feel about these somewhat revealing columns when they hit their teens?

Steve Shanafelt - 21 December 2007 06:24 PM

I have a few questions: Is it ever weird writing about your own family? Do you ever worry that they’ll read something you wrote and feel angry or hurt? Do you ever worry about how your kids will feel about these somewhat revealing columns when they hit their teens?

Steve,

I often tell folks that I realize I have a small window in which to write about my kids. Right now, they like that I write about them, but I realize that they’ll probably rebel when they become teens. Which is ok. At that point, I’ll figure out something else to write about, I hope.

Also, I have boundaries I’ve set for myself in writing the column. I don’t write about people without asking first. When I wrote about my sister making a “candy bar” pie, I called her and asked for permission and made sure I had the details right.

I do occasionally make members of my family (my parents) uncomfortable, but they’re used to that. The first short story I had published in college was about drinking, pot smoking, and public sex. Of course, that was fiction.

Incidentally, E-spouse doesn’t think I write enough about him!

Thanks for asking!

So, I only get questions from my editor???? Anyone else wanna ask something? Like what and where my tat is?

Who would win in a knife fight? You or Susan Reinhardt?

Ok Anne, i have some questions i just thought of.  Feel free to answer any, but probably not all:

If you were a Star Trek character, what time would take your first alcoholic drink?

You are invited to a large cocktail party at a country club in Zimbabwe. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already over half full of hungry lions. How do they react to you when you enter the room?

What would I find in the vegetable crisper of your refrigerator right now?

If you could trade places with any other veternarian, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?

How would you explain the things in your sock drawer that aren’t socks to your son in three sentences or less?

How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States?

If you could be any character in fiction, would you have a beard?

If Hollywood made a movie about your life, who would play your mother?

Why do superheroes have sidekicks and evil nemesis have minions?

If you were a type of flood, what type of flood would you be?

Whose life would you save first, your children or the National Geographic Society?

If you discovered a lump in your yard, would you apply for medicare?

On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your favorite color?

What is the temperature when it’s twice as cold as zero degrees?

brebro - 03 January 2008 01:24 AM

Who would win in a knife fight? You or Susan Reinhardt?

Against each other or against bad guys?

If I had to fight Susan, I’d prefer an old-fashioned mud wrestling battle. I’d win, of course, unless she managed to knock me out with her fake boobs!

zen - 03 January 2008 02:22 AM

Ok Anne, i have some questions i just thought of.  Feel free to answer any, but probably not all:

If you were a Star Trek character, what time would take your first alcoholic drink?

Damn, zen, is this an interview? I’ll have to divide my answers into sets!

First, I don’t watch Star Trek or any TV for that matter. I’m Southern so I have my first drink of the day when the bullbats take flight.

You are invited to a large cocktail party at a country club in Zimbabwe. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already over half full of hungry lions. How do they react to you when you enter the room?

Lions love me. I’d whisper them to sleep. Then nurse my wounds.

What would I find in the vegetable crisper of your refrigerator right now?

Cauliflower, carrots, spinach: the three veggies that my kids will eat.

If you could trade places with any other veternarian, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?

I’m not a vet, but I was, I’d be James Herriot. There’s something about putting your arm up a horse’s vagina…

How would you explain the things in your sock drawer that aren’t socks to your son in three sentences or less?

Do not go into Mama’s room and do not open her drawers.

How many gas stations would you say there are in the United States?

Billions. Sadly.

If you could be any character in fiction, would you have a beard?

Only below.

If Hollywood made a movie about your life, who would play your mother?

This is getting dangerous. Probably Liz Taylor.

Why do superheroes have sidekicks and evil nemesis have minions?

Duh. Because superheroes honor free will while evil nemisises are domineering tyrants.

If you were a type of flood, what type of flood would you be?

A gentle warm one.

Whose life would you save first, your children or the National Geographic Society?

My kids. Screw NGSers, although I am one.

If you discovered a lump in your yard, would you apply for medicare?

Nah, I’d just send out the cats.

On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your favorite color?

Green’s a 9. Blue’s an 8. I don’t believe in 10.

What is the temperature when it’s twice as cold as zero degrees?

64, baby.

Oh damn, zen, your questions didn’t transfer with my answers. Oh well. Thanks for asking!

Wait, not the questions are there. I’m confused. Again.

And I’m typing too quickly and making typos.

So anyone else want to answer zen’s questions?

And did I get the job?

Those are pretty funny, Edgy!! And my favorite (and why you definitely DO get the job) is:

If you were a type of flood, what type of flood would you be?
A gentle warm one.

I nearly cried…  You are truly a mother and the ability to be a storm and be loving and embracing at the same time.  You get my vote.  Even though i’ve read your articles in the past i will now read each and every one and a little more carefully!

Thanks for your answers, it gave me a good start to the day!

z

Yes, thanks for being a good sport about answering our silly questions.

(Seriously, though, try to set the wheels in motion in regard to arranging that mud wrestling fight. It needs to happen…... for the children!!)