Let me break this to you gently: This is going to be the special bare bones down-and-dirty edition of the “Weekly Reeler.” I am coming to you from the bedroom I grew up calling “my room” in Lake Wales, Fla. I hardly recognize it, which is to say that my old 12-by-12 foot private domain from age six to 18 bears little trace of my presence these days. (In honor of the experience, however, I am “sneaking” cigarettes back here and using a Coke can for an ashtray. I will not have to hide it behind the radio as I did when I was 16, which is a good thing because there’s no radio in sight.) I am also working on a computer that dates back to…well, let’s put it this way — it stops just shy of being hand-cranked.
So with one week of the movie year (and a Chainsaw movie) behind us, we're looking at two new releases this week — one of which might make Texas Chainsaw look pretty good. The other — who can say? Also in the offing are two expansions with a degree of anticipation attached to them.
Now that the studios have finished putting their supposed best feet forward for Christmas -- two cheesy cash-grabs and one re-issue notwithstanding -- it's back to business as usual. Oh, sure there are some limited release things waiting in the wings that will be doled out to us in the coming weeks, but when all is said and done, the studios' January White Sale is upon us -- as demonstrated by this week's notion of a mainstream offering.
Merry Christmas and welcome to the shortest column ever. Well, it's not my fault that the studios opted to open everything by Christmas, but it resulted in everything about this week's releases being in last week's "Reeler" -- and, in some cases, even the reviews have run. In short, there is no news. Whether it is true that no news is good news remains to be seen. But, hey, what there is, you're getting early.
Well, here we are. It's Christmastime at the movies once again. Well, it's Christmastime everywhere, but we're concerned with movies here so we'll focus on that. This year -- just to make things interesting, I guess -- the folks who make these decisions opted to hit us with seven new movies and one 3D-ified reissue in three volleys. The first hits on Dec. 19, the second on Dec. 21, and the heavy hitters make their bows on Christmas Day. Presumably, this is an attempt to spread things out more evenly. It will not, however, keep Christmas Day from being a madhouse where goodwill towards men extends only to the point of finding a seat.
Much like last week, this one is not exactly bubbling over with titles. In fact, we once again find ourselves faced with two movies. Unlike last week, there's no sense here of movies being brought in just to put something new up on those screens. Indeed, these are movies people — not necessarily the same people — have been waiting to see.
In all candour, it's pretty hard to work up the interest in even dealing with this week. There are a whopping two -- count 'em -- movies opening. One of them is worthwhile. The other almost certainly won't be -- at least, neither the trailer, the premise, nor the behind-the-camera talent generates anything but dread in me. But let's get on with it.
Now, here we have a week where what may well be my favorite movie of 2012 opens, along with a highly anticipated crime thriller starring Brad Pitt — and a horror movie sequel that I don't think anyone was asking for. Implicit in that statement is the fact that, no, we still aren't down for a certain movie from the Weinsteins — unless, they're up to something really unexpected and downright strange.
This week we have three movies opening on Wednesday for the Big Thanksgiving moviegoing day. You know, it's that day when you've had quite enough of your family, but feel compelled to do something that at least offers the illusion of being together. What better way to avoid actual interaction — and potential bloodshed — than to sit in a darkened theater watching a movie? Now, you may be thinking that there are four movies opening — and at one point that was true — but those merry pranksters known as the Weinsteins had other plans.
OK, we have four movies opening this week — everything from old Honest Abe to twinkly vampires. I haven't seen those — though I already saw one movie about Lincoln this year (which maybe doesn't count). I have seen the two art titles, but you will be surprised to learn than only one of them has thus far been reviewed. The one thing I can pretty well assure you — even without seeing two of the movies — is that there's nothing opening this week that's apt to get you as high as last week's Holy Motors.
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