Directed by: Marco Schnabel
Starring: Mike Myers, Romany Malco, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Verne Troyer
Call it a variation on the old bait and switch. The early word on the new Mike Myers’ vehicle, The Love Guru, has been that it is the early frontrunner for worst film of the year. So imagine my dismay when I watch the movie and find out it isn’t actually cripplingly terrible. As far as the race for worst movie of the year is concerned, it isn’t as offensively manipulative as Expelled, and it’s about an hour shorter than Sex and the City. Of course, this doesn’t keep the movie from being just plain bad, but this isn’t saying much when I fully expected the sheer awfulness of this film to turn me into Betty Buckley in The Happening. Chalk it up to diminished expectations.
Six years after the last Austin Powers film, The Love Guru is an obvious attempt at creating yet another franchise for Myers, though the overwhelming critical panning and its fourth-place finish on opening weekend have likely put the kibosh on that. Instead, the movie plays like the beginnings of a comedian—Myers—who is starting to fall out of touch. The humor isn’t all that removed from the Powers films, but The Love Guru is missing the focus of those movies. Where each of those were taking jabs at a genre, a style of filmmaking and themselves, The Love Guru seems to have missed its target simply by not having one to begin with.
Instead, the film becomes a parade of juvenile penis jokes and bathroom humor—including one repulsive scene involving urine-soaked mops—and bad sex puns by way of the characters’ names, most of which don’t even make sense, like the character named Dick Pants (The Daily Show’s John Oliver). On top of this, every other gag is run into the ground through overuse, like the guru’s sacred greeting that sounds like the name of TV actress Mariska Hargitay (“Hartisgay” in the film). Sure, the joke’s explained in the first 10 minutes of the film, but this doesn’t keep it from popping up 60 more times throughout the movie. And if this didn’t sound bad enough, nearly every joke is followed with Myers grinning or winking or mugging for the camera, showing that the man’s way too pleased with himself—or else (when you add in the numerous jokes that have to be dumbed down and explained) he simply doesn’t trust his audience to realize there’s a punch line being delivered.
The story is simple. Myers plays Guru Pitka, India’s second biggest guru behind Deepak Chopra, who has eyes on being a guest on Oprah in order to take the top spot. To do this, he accepts an offer from the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs (Jessica Alba) to help reunite her slumping star player (Romany Malco, Baby Mama) with his estranged wife (Meagan Good, Stomp the Yard) in time for him to get his game back on track and win the Stanley Cup. The only problem is his wife is currently with rival goalie Jacques “Le Coq” Grande (Justin Timberlake), so named for his apparently impressive endowment—even though there’s a scene where you can see stuffing poking from his Speedo. There’s also some business about Pitka being forced to wear a chastity belt until he truly loves himself, and there’s a romance between him and Alba’s character, but it’s all pretty uninteresting and predictable from the get-go.
It’s a little disappointing, really, that the film isn’t the unmitigated train wreck that it has been painted as. At least that would have been a bit more interesting than the merely unfunny, mediocre comedy it actually is. Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language, some comic violence and drug references.
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So, did Ken pull rank on you on this one, or did you lose the coin toss? |
 Jun 25, 2008 at |
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So, did Ken pull rank on you on this one, or did you lose the coin toss? I would never pull rank on him on something like this—well, almost never. OK, maybe sometimes, but I’d feel bad about it afterwards. However, in this case, I was out of town. |
Jun 25, 2008 |
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“So, did Ken pull rank on you on this one, or did you lose the coin toss?” We already made the deal that I wouldn’t get stuck with both this and THE HOUSE BUNNY. We’ll just have to wait and see if he figures out a way to weasel out of that. |
Jun 25, 2008 |
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Who’s getting SPACE CHIMPS? |
 Jun 25, 2008 at |
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We’ll just have to wait and see if he figures out a way to weasel out of that. I believe the lad suspects me of chicanery. As for Space Chimps, we haven’t actually tussled over that one. |
Jun 26, 2008 |
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I am going to see it for sure. Sounds like a scream. Mike Myers is a genius. |
Jun 27, 2008 |
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Well, he’s funnier than Ben Stein. |
Jun 27, 2008 |
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Space Chimps? Is this the long awaited sequel (or prequel) to Hail to the Chimp? |
 Jun 27, 2008 at |
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I like Ben Stein. He is funny. And smart. He wrote speeches for President Nixon. Quite a versatile guy. And his movie was good…better than any of the partisan hackjobs Michael Moore has done. |
Jun 28, 2008 |
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Space Chimps? Is this the long awaited sequel (or prequel) to Hail to the Chimp? It’s the prequel to Space Cowboys—the chimp evolves into Clint Eastwood. |
Jun 28, 2008 |
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Poor Justin needs better films to review. Only about one out of ten, it seems anyhow, is above the table-scraps-level. Ken…throw this man a potentially promising film a bit more often!! ;) |
 Jun 29, 2008 at |
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Ken…throw this man a potentially promising film a bit more often!! Justin slipped you five bucks, didn’t he? Seriously, I do try to give him something promising from time to time. I let him have Mongol this week, for example. (Alright, so I’m not personally all that interesed in Genghis Khan…still, it’s no Love Guru.) |
Jun 29, 2008 |
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“I let him have Mongol this week, for example.” Well, that’s true, but you did decide this after we found out that THE PROMOTION was leaving town on Tuesday, and therefore pointless to review for Wednesday’s paper. |
Jun 29, 2008 |
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Well, that’s true, but you did decide this after we found out that THE PROMOTION was leaving town on Tuesday, and therefore pointless to review for Wednesday’s paper. Quibbling about details… |
Jun 29, 2008 |
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Well, since THE PROMOTION is going, how was it? |
Jun 29, 2008 at |
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I don’t think either of us watched any of it. I know I didn’t, and I doubt Ken mustered up the energy to sit through it. |
Jun 29, 2008 |
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I watched a few minutes of it, which didn’t grab me, but it’d be unfair to outright dismiss it on that basis—even if it is the saga of Sean William Scott (or is it Scott William? I never can remember) vying with John C. Reilly for the assistant managership of a grocery store. Conceptually at least, I can’t say that fills me with anticipation. |
Jun 29, 2008 |
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I watched a few minutes of it, which didn’t grab me, but it’d be unfair to outright dismiss it on that basis—even if it is the saga of Sean William Scott (or is it Scott William? I never can remember) vying with John C. Reilly for the assistant managership of a grocery store. Conceptually at least, I can’t say that fills me with anticipation. They lifted the plot of Chad Vader? That’s depressing. |
 Jun 30, 2008 at |
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They lifted the plot of Chad Vader? That’s depressing. That you know the plot of Chad Vader (which I’ve never even heard of) may be equally depressing from the sound of it! |
Jun 30, 2008 |
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Hanke: Obviously, you are not up to speed on your internet visionaries. Chad Vader is great fun, at least if you keep your expectations relatively low. If you feel like checking it out, here’s their site: http://www.blamesociety.net/chadvader/index.php |
Jun 30, 2008 at |
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if you keep your expectations relatively low. Are you kidding? On Aug. 22 I’ll be watching Anna Faris in The House Bunny—expectations don’t get any lower. |
Jun 30, 2008 |
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Mike Myers is my Jane Fonda, and his treason is CAT IN THE HAT. |
Jun 30, 2008 at |
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Mike Myers is my Jane Fonda, and his treason is CAT IN THE HAT. I dunno, Marc. I think Cat in the Hat is one of those Geneva Convention things. |
Jun 30, 2008 |
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wait, mike meyers married ted turner, too? (nice alliteration) |
 Jun 30, 2008 at |
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No, that was the leftwing darling Hanoi Jane Fonda. Old Ted is one of those talk-like-a-socialist-but live-as-a-republican kind of guys. Fitting that the world class hypocrite Hanoi Jane had her in her world for many years. of course, when she joined her black maid’s church, Ted dumped her. You see, he hates Christianity. Mike Myers. A great comedian. I plan on seeing the flick soon. With him in there, it has to be good. |
Jun 30, 2008 |
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wait, mike meyers married ted turner, too? That’s never been proved, but there’s some juicy tittle-tattle about Myers, Roger Vadim and a remake of Barbarella that never happened. |
Jun 30, 2008 |
