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Shad Marsh

Occupation: page, Buncombe County Library; father
Party affiliation: zero, zip, nada
Political experience: loads
Endorsements: Zen Sutherland, George "The" Bastard, W. B. Keckler, Devin Walsh, Asheville Area Anti-Communist League, The Human Fund, Citizens for a Snarkier America, George Vanderbilt

Shad Marsh

1) How much money have you raised for your campaign? Who are your top three donors, and how much has each contributed?

Total: $280:
Top three: David Hopes, $100; John Clanton, $60; Donald Marsh, $40

2) Do you favor district elections for Council members? Why or why not?
I have no strong opinion either way; each has its advantages and disadvantages.

3) What steps, if any, should the city take to deal with graffiti?

We all know that the lobstrous problem of graffiti threatens the very fabric of this community. Here is my plan for curbing it. First offense: required to do the Truffle Shuffle in Pack Square for 24 hours. Second offense: concentration camp. Third offense: There will be no third offense.

4) Do you support the implementation of domestic-partner benefits for city employees? Why or why not?

Yes, but to balance out the scales and avoid GOD's wrath, I support stoning any city employee who gets a divorce or commits adultery, regardless of sexual orientation. There are enough stones for everyone.

5) Given the city's current and likely upcoming budget shortfalls, how would you make ends meet?

Taxing misspellings on Tea Party signs. De facto decriminalization of marijuana combined with a tax on snack foods.

6) Which key elements of the Downtown Master Plan, if any, do you want to see implemented in the next year?

I believe we should have Poland under firm control by the spring,

7) What measures, if any, do you support to promote bicycle and mass transit?
I support banning cars from downtown. There are no cars in the Bible.

8) How much of a role, compared to its current one, should the city play in putting on festivals?

As little as possible. Do we really need any more washed-up grunge bands headlining here? Do we really need more shirtless frat boys puking in our streets and sullying our women with their wanton seed?

9) Which sitting member of City Council are you most like politically, and which do you differ the most with?
The answer to both questions: Carl Mumpower.

10) What should Asheville's policy be regarding forced annexation of surrounding areas?

Once we have annexed Poland we will have no appetite for the annexations of surrounding areas. Honest, I swear.


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Finally, a politician i can believe in…

pff る~'s avatar

pff る~

Sep 23, 2009 at 11:50 PM


If the Human Fund is behind him, then he must be legit. I mean, that’s “Money For People” after all..

brebro

Sep 23, 2009
at 4:48 AM


Can’t wait…I’m polishing my stones now…

The Imposter's avatar

The Imposter

Sep 23, 2009 at 4:55 AM


“9) Which sitting member of City Council are you most like politically, and which do you differ the most with?
The answer to both questions: Carl Mumpower. “

Truer words were never spoken.

Observer

Sep 23, 2009
at 5:01 AM


Learn more about this exciting candidate here: http://marshformayor.blogspot.com/

shadmarsh's avatar

shadmarsh

Sep 23, 2009 at 6:22 AM


092509molton.png width=390 height=273

Molton

Sep 25, 2009
at 10:26 AM


From @coffeehousejunk on Twitter, at 3:30pm:
“looks like steve jobs & shad marsh are twins”

Jeff Fobes's avatar

Jeff Fobes

Sep 25, 2009 at 12:48 PM


Finally, a politician whose fancy head shot says ‘My campaign manager has a HUGE trunk and buys duct tape in bulk.’

tatuaje

Sep 25, 2009
at 1:16 PM


I guess Terry Bellamy is going to be mayor for a while.

timpeck's avatar

timpeck

Sep 25, 2009 at 5:36 PM


I guess that’s the best you could come up with. Board harder.

shadmarsh's avatar

shadmarsh

Sep 25, 2009 at 5:42 PM


I guess Terry Bellamy is going to be mayor for a while.

You got the inside scoop, eh?

chuck

Sep 26, 2009
at 11:37 PM


He’s much better looking in person..

∮richkey ♪'s avatar

∮richkey ♪

Sep 26, 2009 at 4:22 PM


Nobody has a shot against Terry.  She’s a lock.

JWTJr

Sep 27, 2009
at 8:11 AM


Why does shad hate America?

piffy

Sep 28, 2009
at 1:00 PM


Because America never calls me back.

shadmarsh's avatar

shadmarsh

Sep 28, 2009 at 2:51 PM


shadmarsh isnt even really a fish!!!

thats not edgy!

pff る~'s avatar

pff る~

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:50 PM


Props for use of the word “lobstrous.”

You’ll have my vote if you can define it Jeopardy-style.

Megster

Sep 30, 2009
at 12:52 PM


I guess Terry Bellamy is going to be mayor for a while.

That’s because she’s running against an “anonymous coward”.

No, I’m not going to let it go.

bobaloo's avatar

bobaloo

Sep 30, 2009 at 5:37 PM


this guy is awesome!

hal

Sep 30, 2009
at 6:09 PM


No, I’m not going to let it go.

He still doesnt get that you are mocking him. He thinks you’re agreeing with him.

pff る~'s avatar

pff る~

Sep 30, 2009 at 8:13 PM


I plan to vote for Mr. Shad Marsh because of his no-nonsense hair style.  I don’t need my Mayor d***ing around for 30-45 minutes every morning with his/her hair.  I think Shad will get up and get straight to Mayoring.

Trey

Oct 01, 2009
at 8:07 AM


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