The twitter plague is upon us; praise newspeak 4 all.  The denegration of language is doubleplusgood.

You twit!  April fools day to you too.

Have a happy April Fools Day! “Twaper!” Hah hah!

Someone at The Guardian has the same sense of humor.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/apr/01/guardian-twitter-media-technology

Wow!

I’ll miss a physical edition where i used to get ink on my twingers.

Congratulations on your modest proposal. One question: Will there be a ceremony where Peter Gregutt gets to burn his AP Style Manual? And I hope he gets a raise if he has to follow all these people around and copy edit on their cell phones.

This change may be understandable, but it’s not welcome.  Like ‘zen’ notes, there is no replacement for reading a print copy, and this Twitter-ization eliminates the spirited posts on the web version.  Too bad.  Bye.

This is going to be a hard transition for folks. With some time put into design upgrades and help from people on the street I think this will work. Good luck in being revolutionary.

April Fool’s to you too!!

How am I going to ship my eBay packages? Wrap them in twit?

Twitter ruins everything it touches.

I hate April Fools. I have to read everything with skepticism.

This article is over the limit. You still have some streamlining to do.

had me going for a minute. April Fool on you!

If this were true..I would seriously doubt the quality of this publication for the first time.

Oh No! It is another sad day for Asheville!
We will miss you @mountainxpress

You guys worked too hard anyway!
Enjoy your time off…

What are we goin to start our woodstoves with next winter?

Dudes, this is real. Fobes has just posted a YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAjKCwXI_Io

and yet it’s obviously not real.  but you had me for like 10 seconds upon opening the home-page.  and then i laughed, so well done.

for it.
April Fool’s to you MTNX

Tweetastic !!!!!

Those on the cutting edge of technology will always bleed a bit…..but this bold move by Mountain Xpress shows that they remain the leader of the pack.

I cant’ wait for the 140 character version of the Asheville Disclaimer.

In a related story, WLOS announced that all future newscasts will be done using 12 second videocasts via http://12seconds.tv/about

Good luck with that!  I don’t know if Twitter is the way to go…too many limitations…what happens when it crashes for hours and hours?

April fools.

Readers of these comments and this manifesto should be aware that the STAFF was not informed by the ADMINISTRATION that this change was in the offing. We are looking at our legal options.

This is nuts. Had it happened on any day other than 4/1 this would be big. But it is looking like another Jason Bugg.

Legal?  Nelda, this simply can’t be true.

“And thanks to Twitter’s technologically enforced brevity, it will almost be a “conversation without words.””

I think that’s the final give-away.

Good prank—At first I felt suprised and then I felt out-dated!

How anyone can joke about a development this serious is beyond me.

April Fools.  Nice try guys.

This is just like that time when my friend Kim filled our friend Alvy’s car with styrofoam peanuts. Kind of like that.

Ta ta. I predict this will be a disaster. You will only reach the cellphone/laptop addicted crowd, and thereby miss large swatches of your former reading public. Also, the potential abuse-of-the-news factor on twitter is bad news. Gossip news. Your forum is already full of gossip and personal attacks. Will the former mainline “print” version now stoop to that level as well?

Let’s see…140 character movie reviews. That’s 35 characters less than Rotten Tomatoes allows you for a breakout quote.

And while I adapted to removing the staples for putting the paper under the kitty pans, I’m stumped by how to deal with this.

Good grief,  what is the world coming to? Can tweetering replace everything, even sex???

I had a Swatch in the 80’s, coolest watch I ever owned. I think it was even water proof.

To those who are laughing at the demise of our newspaper: Go ahead, kick us when we’re down. But who will be laughing when you can’t stand to go five minutes without checking the Twaper?

Greensboro News-Record blogs about “nation’s first Twaper”:

http://blog.news-record.com/staff/jrblog/2009/04/we_are_going_to.shtml

This is no joke. In hindsight I can see how the launch date makes this event somewhat confusing but in the web department we’re all really excited about this move.  And we’re not done yet!  There will be great things ahead in the coming weeks.  The only thing that I am a little apprehensive about is that Fobes is trying to rename my position “The Twitmaster”, which I think is ludicrous.

I too wish this was only a joke.

As a nine-year employee at Mountain Xpress what bothers me the most is that in all the comments we have received online and the many phone calls that have been coming in no one has expressed any concern about how this move will effect the staff at Mountain Xpress. I wish our management had fought a little harder to keep our newspaper version a viable option. I am very disappointed.

this opens up all sorts of linguistic possibilities… news as haiku anyone?

April 1 spring sprung
Mountain X saves trees from death
now powered by coal

Hmmm…with the demise of the print version of Mxpress, maybe the Asheville Disclaimer could be distributed in Bubble Gum wrappers like the old Bazooka Joe comics

from:
http://www.bubblegum-comics.com/Introduction.html

hmmmmm….not many folks buying bubble gum these days so maybe the Asheville Disclaimer could be distributed in condom packages????

I love April Fool’s Day. But it’s sometimes hard to identify the fools. If the MX really is going the way of Twitter, then I will be a Twit. It’s the Asheville way, after all. If not, it still begs the question. What place does print media have in our lives? I long ago gave up my subscription the AC-T, which is priced ridiculously high in comparison with major papers, in favor of the electronic version. It is not better or more accurate, but it keeps my hands clean.

Mountain Xpress Publisher Jeff Fobes’ memo to staff:

To: All staff
From: Jeff Fobes, Publisher
Re: “Twaper,” the new, Twitter-powered Mountain Xpress
Date: April 1, 2009

Today we embark on an exciting new chapter in the world of journalism, putting the power in the hands of the people by turning Mountain Xpress and Mountainx.com over to the growing cadre of Twitterers in our community.

I know we don’t all agree on this. Some of you consider Twitter a postmodern debasement of journalism bordering on bathroom-wall discourse. Some of you believe we’re simply pandering to a dangerous consumer trend, or displacing accurate reporting with heedless or even calculating rumormongering.

But I really think you’re missing the point. Ever since I started publishing Green Line, an environmental newsletter, back in the ‘80s, my goal has been to empower the grass roots while encouraging thoughtful community dialogue leading to constructive action. In the past, that meant producing carefully researched, locally focused stories presenting multiple viewpoints, and spotlighting informed community members who have something thought-provoking to say about the issues facing us.

But that was then and this is now; we’re in a higher-risk environment these days, and the only way out is the way in. New times call for new ideas, new approaches, new paradigms. And that means we need to be more flexible, more canny, more slippery, if you will, even as we cleave to the mantra of building healthy communities, one tweet at a time.

I understand that many of you are accustomed to the more “considered” role of the old-school journalist, who sifts information; strives for relevance, accuracy and balance; and offers a starting point for the community to jump in, duke it out and, hopefully, arrive at some kind of productive consensus.

But in the current hyperdynamic situation, I believe we need to focus on dancing with the new, not fighting with it. Reporters and editors need to remember to check their egos (both personal and professional) at the door, being mindful that their mission is one of service to the community. The Soviet Union really blew it back in the ‘70s and ‘80s when they tried to control the availability of photocopiers in their country as a way to stifle the flow of info.

All this is to say that the “kings” and “queens” of info understand its dynamics and love to help it move. To try to dam it up or claim ownership rights is very tricky and likely counterproductive. So I say scratch the “kings” and “queens”—we need less royalty and more humble servants, aikido masters of info flow. The image of the laughing Buddha fleetingly emerges before receding once again into the virtual mist…

I am moved by Jeff Fobe’s latest comments. They are spiritual, yet lean. Like a hungry reporter trying to sell a story to his old, out of touch editor. So, I say, go with the flow, and recognize the world’s newest paradigm. I Twit, therefore, I am. Informed that is. Too, if you would care to start a church where we could hold our prayers to 140 characters and just stay home on Sunday mornings, I’m there. Or not there, as it were. Apostles of Twit?

If we scratch the “kings” and “queens,” exactly who are these “more humble servants” supposed to serve? To whom shall they be humble? Where’s the real revolutionary rhetoric? And how many characters did I just use—quick!

I do hope that when this little joke is over that it will at least spur a conversation about what journalism will be in the Internet age.

Twitter, at its best, is a peripheral tool, good for conveying simple, concrete information like, “Main Street Closed due to wreck” and at its worst it’s another goddamn way for idiots to be self-insulgent on the Internet. It’s not really the future of anything.

I’ve not enjoyed April 1st this much in years.  :-)

That’s self-indulgent, or course.  I have no idea what self-insulgent is, but it sounds bad.

nccain: “I do hope that when this little joke is over that it will at least spur a conversation about what journalism will be in the Internet age”

Like I say, I sure wish this was a joke. But since it’s not, let’s go ahead and start the conversation you suggest, which could prove valuable. But please keep your comments to 140 characters or fewer.

Having grown up in the internet era, and long ago honed my writing to haiku-like brevity, I welcome our new Tweeted-out tomorrow.

140 characters is the new black.

“Like I say, I sure wish this was a joke. But since it’s not, let’s go ahead and start the conversation you suggest, which could prove valuable. But please keep your comments to 140 characters or fewer.”

Ok,

Twittering is retarded. (21 characters).

People with long twitter handles eat up too many characters on retweets. Something needs to be done about this.

Breaking - 

Gordon Smith and I are in love.

I am the winner of the Buncombe County Spelling B.

Elliston agrees with me and believes Martin Luther King Jr. was a Republican.

I have become a liberal Democrat and a member of Coven Oldenwild.

Congrats, MX, on embracing a brave new world, and boldly broadcasting “All the news that’s fit to tweet!” (Hi, Nelda! wink, wink.)

Maybe I shouldn’t have moved to SF after all - just missed the boat on the twit-o-lution.

Here at the SF Bay Guardian, we must be behind the times: http://www.sfbg.com/blogs/politics/2009/03/questioning_twits_tweets_and_t.html

But at least we can still laugh it off: http://www.sfbg.com

Anyone tell Dionysis to untwist his panties yet?

Also breaking today: Chad Nesbitt buys a real motorcycle, condemns highway stunts by rice-rocketeers.

“Anyone tell Dionysis to untwist his panties yet?”

I guess that was left up to you. It’s reassuring to know someone is keeping up with panty protocols.

If this was true (which I honestly still don’t believe at all), what would they be doing to their advertising base?  That’s the heart of the free paper’s money - which a twaper just couldn’t provide.  So the idea makes no sense, thus it’s a joke.  But really, great job getting everyone in on it.

I regret to inform that The Guardian, the UK’s respected newspaper, is also announcing that its publisher has chosen to go this route.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/apr/01/guardian-twitter-media-technology

Breaking -

Scrutiny Hooligans looses bid - Nesbitt buys Ashevegas website for a cool 2 million.

Elliston, Forbes report for work at the
Carolina Stompers.

Sanford buys remaining stock of Gannet News - vows to turn it around.

Clear Channel fires Mittan hires Yelton.

Sanford buys Clear Channel fires Yelton hires Hooters girl. 

Nesbitt in rehab, breaks from Democrat Party-
Cry’s, “They made me hug a tree.”

Sanford buys WLOS makes Debra Potter lead anchor.

“We illuminated him”, Mumpower saves Chad Nesbitt from the leftist liberals.

gotta give Chad a couple of high 5s for both of his posts on this thread.

I’m looking forward to Chad moderating the first debate between Avl city council and mayoral candidates.

What will we do when all the papers stop?

Does that mean we will have Free Speech then?

No paper trail to back a mans word, who would keep track of who is suing who owns what…LOL

Excellent. I am looking forward to chirping, where you have to say what you’re doing in 90 characters or less. Excellent joke. I’m hoping the phenomenon has a half life of half the life of your paper. Keep up the good work!