| Title |
Excerpt |
Author |
Date |
| Cranky Hanke’s Screening Room: Twilight of my discontent |
A couple of years ago, Ken and I were speaking to an out of town film critic—from a much bigger city than Asheville—who had somehow managed to finagle her way into a position where she only reviewed what most people would consider high-brow fare—your art films, your foreign features and… |
Justin Souther |
11/20/09 |
| More Than a Game |
Kristopher Belman’s More Than a Game is a great example of a movie being perfectly fine given what it is. But even at that, what the film is just isn’t much. It’s a look at the high-school years of basketball superstar LeBron James, but the film is never able to… |
Justin Souther |
11/18/09 |
| The Box |
In 2001, director Richard Kelly made Donnie Darko, a strange little movie with teenagers about time travel and predestination. The film became a cult hit, but it’s ultimately more clever than good. One can only assume that this modest success gave Kelly the leeway to make Southland Tales (2006), a… |
Justin Souther |
11/11/09 |
| Play the Game |
Marc Fienberg’s Play the Game is being billed as “Andy Griffith as you’ve never seen him before.” I can safely say this is true: I have never watched Andy Griffith feign an orgasm while having his, uh, Opie orally satisfied by Liz Sheridan after she slips him a Viagra mickey.… |
Justin Souther |
11/04/09 |
| Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant |
With rampant Twilight hysteria running roughshod over pop culture and the subsequent reactionary knockoff-vampire-movie saturation that looks like it will mar moviegoing for the next few years, it’s nice to know that not all of these vampire flicks based on popular teen-fantasy novels are going to be bad. And while… |
Justin Souther |
10/28/09 |
| Astro Boy |
Sometimes, after weeks upon weeks of just watching the worst movies imaginable—the stupid, the puerile, the just plain awful—the simple act of watching a film that at least attempts to say something is something to applaud. No, David Bowers’ Astro Boy adds nothing new to the world of animated adventures,… |
Justin Souther |
10/28/09 |
| Law Abiding Citizen |
In some ways, I should probably be happy about Law Abiding Citizen, simply because it’s an attempt at bringing the evil genius character back into the movies. Once—with the likes of Dr. Mabuse and Fu Manchu—the cinema was rife with evil madmen. Here, we get a little bit of the… |
Justin Souther |
10/21/09 |
| I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell |
Tucker Max is a writer who has made a very modest name for himself in the world of blogging, rattling off stories of drunken frat-boy debauchery and sexual escapades. Now, three years after his novel I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell hit bookstores, the film adaptation has hit theaters.… |
Justin Souther |
10/21/09 |
| The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry |
The reason I’m giving The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry a half-star rating is not because of its heavy-handed Christian message. Sure, the movie is about as subtle as being buried beneath an avalanche of Bibles, but this isn’t why the movie is bad. It’s the amateurish acting, the flat direction… |
Justin Souther |
10/14/09 |
| Couples Retreat |
Oh, the things we’ll do for friendship. Once upon a time, Jon Favreau wrote a couple of nice, intelligent, if unspectacular, little comedies—Swingers (1996) and Made (2001)—that starred himself and his buddy Vince Vaughn. Now many years, a bit of stardom and higher pay grades later, we have Vaughn starring,… |
Justin Souther |
10/14/09 |
| Cranky Hanke’s Screening Room: Intergalactic imbeciles and other shoddy plans |
With Ken gallivanting around sunny Florida this week, the duty of producing a Screening Room has fallen into my well-manicured hands. For those of you looking for the usual Hanke wit and wisdom, do not be disappointed, because I give you something better, the most important, insightful bit of film… |
Justin Souther |
10/09/09 |
| Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3-D Double Feature |
Fourteen years after the original Toy Story—the film that started animation-behemoth Pixar Studios—and a decade after its sequel, both have returned to theaters, this time mashed together as a double feature and gussied up in 3-D. Most likely a no-brainer for Pixar aficionados and those in search of well-meaning family… |
Justin Souther |
10/07/09 |
| Surrogates |
Once a year or so, the moviegoing public gets a truly excellent sci-fi picture, like Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men (2006) or Danny Boyle’s Sunshine (2007). However, what usually gets pawned off as science fiction is hoary, effects-heavy space opera or the occasional rickety Philip K. Dick adaptation. Unfortunately for… |
Justin Souther |
09/30/09 |
| Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs |
Odd, quirky and bizarre can get you a long way, but it can’t guarantee success. For proof, look no further than Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, one of the damn strangest animated family films I’ve ever seen. The approach taken by first-time feature directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller… |
Justin Souther |
09/23/09 |
| Love Happens |
Even with giving Love Happens a measly two-and-a-half stars, I feel like I’m being more than generous to this movie than my preconceived notions would’ve allowed. First off, there’s the film’s awful, utterly forgettable title (Love happens? So do dermatitis and peanut allergies), while the film’s trailer painted a picture… |
Justin Souther |
09/23/09 |
| Whiteout |
For what it’s worth, Dominic Sena’s Whiteout gets points for originality. It’s not every day you get a murder mystery set in Antarctica. I’m sure Colombo never ventured that far south. But a clever premise will only get you so far, especially when that’s the only thing you’ve got going.… |
Justin Souther |
09/16/09 |
| Broken Hill |
With its poster emblazoned with a “Family Approved” seal, Broken Hill would be more at home on the Hallmark Channel than in the Cineplex. But it’s showing in theaters, nonetheless, and that’s about as much as anyone can say about this latest attack on the heartstrings. There’s nothing really wrong… |
Justin Souther |
09/16/09 |
| All About Steve |
Whether or not—as some people are now proclaiming—Phil Traill’s All About Steve is the worst movie of the summer is debatable. At the very least, it’s up there (though I’d still rank Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra a bit higher based solely upon… |
Justin Souther |
09/09/09 |
| The Final Destination |
There is a scene early on in David R. Ellis’ The Final Destination where a neo-Nazi—who is drunkenly attempting to set a cross ablaze in the front yard of a black security guard—is set on fire. He is consequently dragged down the street by his own runaway tow truck, while… |
Justin Souther |
09/02/09 |
| Shorts |
In 1990—two years before he burst onto the filmmaking scene with his low-budget actioner El Mariachi—Robert Rodriguez made a short film called Bedhead. Shot in his backyard with the help of his family, the short centers around a young girl who terrorizes her slovenly older brother with newfound psychic powers.… |
Justin Souther |
08/26/09 |
| Ponyo |
Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki’s (Howl’s Moving Castle) latest, Ponyo, might not be the best animated film of all time (or even of this year—Pixar’s Up still holds that crown), but it’s certainly one of the most unique. This exclusivity is due to the fact that Miyazaki has successfully made… |
Justin Souther |
08/19/09 |
| Bandslam |
To say that my anticipation for sitting down and watching Todd Graff’s Bandslam was wanting is an oversimplification. To say I was dreading the prospects of watching what appeared to be some ungodly concoction of Richard Linklater’s School of Rock (2003) and the whitewashed pap of High School Musical is… |
Justin Souther |
08/19/09 |
| X-Games 3D: The Movie |
Since X-Games 3D: The Movie has been advertised as a one-week engagement—and with the film’s paltry weekend box office guaranteeing this—it’s a movie that will have just a couple days left of moviegoing life in it by the time this review publishes. So for those of you wanting to hear… |
Justin Souther |
08/19/09 |
| G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra |
To begin with, if you’re someone who carries a nostalgic childhood love of G.I. Joe—and the Hasbro action figures, cartoons and comic books that promote them—or simply just like watching things blow up on a movie screen, then you’re likely to get more out of Stephen Sommers’ G.I. Joe: The… |
Justin Souther |
08/12/09 |
| Aliens in the Attic |
Another week, another perfectly satisfactory, perfectly harmless, perfectly unmemorable kids movie. This isn’t to say the prospects of Aliens in the Attic were anything to get excited over. The trailer relies heavily on goofy slapstick and some cheesy CGI aliens. And while these things play a major part in the… |
Justin Souther |
08/05/09 |
| G-Force |
From Francis the Talking Mule to the recently deceased Taco Bell dog, America loves its talking animals. Disney’s G-Force is the latest entry in this long tradition. The days of hooking fishing line to Mr. Ed’s mouth to make him talk are long gone. Here we get a bevy of… |
Justin Souther |
07/29/09 |
| Tyson |
At first glance, the prospects for James Toback’s documentary Tyson could be described as limited at best, and boring and unappealing at worst. This has more to do with Toback’s cinematically inert approach than anything else. Consisting of talking-head interviews with former boxer Mike Tyson and archival footage spanning his… |
Justin Souther |
07/22/09 |
| Every Little Step |
For anyone who’s a fan of A Chorus Line, or musical theater in general, go ahead and bump this review up a half star—maybe even a whole star—and have fun. For everyone else (admittedly, myself included), well, Every Little Step is probably not your film, which is something even the… |
Justin Souther |
07/08/09 |
| Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs |
When franchises start winding down and a film series starts to run out of fresh ideas, the makers often turn to gimmicks. This can be seen in cheesy horror flicks, where every franchise seems destined to end up in outer space (Jason X (2001), Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997) etc.).… |
Justin Souther |
07/08/09 |
| Away We Go |
Calling Sam Mendes’ Away We Go a pleasant surprise is the epitome of an understatement, namely because I walked into the film half expecting to hate it. Most of my predetermined ire came down to a handful of things. First, there was Mendes behind the camera, a director I’ve enjoyed… |
Justin Souther |
07/01/09 |
| Lemon Tree |
It’s a pity that Eran Riklis’ Lemon Tree isn’t as arresting as it could be, since it manages to take an age-old conflict and freshly humanize it. That the movie is ultimately too restrained and too solemn is unfortunate, because it takes a lot of the air out of what… |
Justin Souther |
07/01/09 |
| Year One |
Harold Ramis’ Year One is one of those films that probably sounded like a good idea when pitched to the studio. The only problem is that no one bothered questioning the conceptual flimsiness of parading Jack Black and Michael Cera as cavemen through the Book of Genesis. Not only that,… |
Justin Souther |
06/24/09 |
| Imagine That |
There’s a scene in Woody Allen’s Stardust Memories (1980) where someone asks, “Why do all comedians turn out to be sentimental bores?” If you need an example of this, Eddie Murphy and Imagine That are here to give you a crash course. It’s not the best example, unfortunately, since the… |
Justin Souther |
06/17/09 |
| Cranky Hanke’s Screening Room: Skeptical Souther looks ahead |
It seems that Ken is inundated this week with family, so I’ve been given the keys to this week’s Screening Room. We toyed with the idea of still claiming that he authored the column this week and seeing if anyone would catch on, but I decided I’d rather see if… |
Justin Souther |
06/12/09 |
| The Hangover |
I went to see The Hangover not knowing what to expect. On one hand, it was directed by Todd Phillips, the man who brought the world such cinematic delights as Old School (2003) and School for Scoundrels (2006). The simple fact that this man has shoved both Will Ferrell and… |
Justin Souther |
06/10/09 |
| Sugar |
Anyone going into Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck’s Sugar expecting just another uplifting sports tale isn’t going to find it here. Sure, the story of a young pitcher named Miguel “Sugar” Santos (newcomer Algenis Perez Soto) leaving the poverty of his home in the Dominican Republic for a shot at… |
Justin Souther |
06/10/09 |
| Paris 36 |
It’s easy to peg Christophe Barratier’s Paris 36 as some half-baked jumble of Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge! (2001) and Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Amélie (2001), combining the basic plot of the former and the precociousness of the latter. In some ways this is true, but it’s also ultimately incorrect. Sure, like Luhrmann’s… |
Justin Souther |
06/03/09 |
| Dance Flick |
The saving grace for cinema’s latest spoof, Dance Flick, is that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer—the force behind the recent glut of Movie movie send-ups—are nowhere to be seen. This is only a slight silver lining, however, since comparing the quality of Dance Flick with, say, Epic Movie (2007) is… |
Justin Souther |
05/27/09 |
| Battle for Terra |
If movies were a Little League baseball team, Aristomenis Tsirbas’ Battle for Terra would get a trophy just for trying hard. But no matter how striking the visuals occasionally are, no matter how much the film attempts to transcend its own kiddie-flick origins with its somewhat downbeat ending and pertinent… |
Justin Souther |
05/06/09 |
| Earth |
It’s fitting that Earth—the first release from Disney’s newest imprint, Disneynature—was released to coincide with Earth Day, since everyone involved is very active in recycling. The footage for Earth is taken from the 2006 BBC documentary series Planet Earth, narrated by Sir Richard Attenborough. The series was released stateside a… |
Justin Souther |
04/29/09 |
| 17 Again |
The very first scene in Burr Steers’ 17 Again is of Zac Efron shirtless and sweaty, and the next scene is of Efron dancing—from there it’s not difficult to see what purpose this movie is supposed to serve. Namely, it’s here to please Efron’s tween fans by parading around his… |
Justin Souther |
04/22/09 |
| Observe and Report |
It’s been approximately a day and a half since I watched Jody Hill’s Observe and Report, and I’m still attempting to figure out what the point of the movie is. This has been complicated by the fact that I’ve simultaneously been purging any memory I have of the film. The… |
Justin Souther |
04/15/09 |
| Adventureland |
For anyone looking for a rehash of director Greg Mottola’s last film, Superbad (2007), don’t expect to find it in the filmmaker’s latest movie, Adventureland. Despite trailers attempting to convince the moviegoing public of the contrary, Adventureland is, in many ways, the anti-Superbad. Sure, the two films have commonalities. They’re… |
Justin Souther |
04/08/09 |
| 12 Rounds |
Once upon a time, a young Renny Harlin made Die Hard 2 (1990), which, in the end, just turned out to be a simple re-hash of John McTiernan’s Die Hard (1988). After that sequel, McTiernan returned to the franchise with 1995’s Die Hard: With a Vengeance. And now, 14 years… |
Justin Souther |
04/01/09 |
| Gomorrah |
Matteo Garrone’s Gomorrah is one of those movies that is more easily admired as filmmaking than actively liked. This Italian production attempts to show the underbelly of Italy’s Camorra, a criminal organization that operates in and around Naples. In many ways, Gomorrah, based on Roberto Saviano’s book of the same… |
Justin Souther |
04/01/09 |
| The Haunting in Connecticut |
Peter Cornwell’s The Haunting in Conneticut is the latest in a long line of “based on a true story” haunted-house films in the style of The Amityville Horror (1979). What this generally means is that any old yahoo who thinks the ghost of grandma is running around flushing toilets and… |
Justin Souther |
04/01/09 |
| I Love You, Man |
One of my favorite aspects of language is that it’s malleable, constantly evolving and changing. One of the beauties of language is that it shifts and modifies to the times by adopting new definitions, words, phrases and slang. Of course, with every pro, there is inevitably a con. Lewis Carroll… |
Justin Souther |
03/25/09 |
| Race to Witch Mountain |
If someone forced me to come up with a single adjective to describe Andy Fickman’s Race to Witch Mountain, it would be “superfluous.” This isn’t because the movie is a remake of the 1975 Escape to Witch Mountain. It’s not because that flick produced two sequels, Return to Witch Mountain… |
Justin Souther |
03/18/09 |
| Fanboys |
Anyone looking for the definition of “insular,” need look no further than Kyle Newman’s Fanboys. In fact, the title says it all, since this is a movie made by—and more importantly—for the fanboy, that sect of geekdom that obsesses over some specific pop-culture subject. In this case, the focus is… |
Justin Souther |
03/10/09 |
| Fired Up! |
If one would like a litmus test for the brand of comedy on display in Will Gluck’s Fired Up!, go no further than the film’s poster. In great big whopping orange letters are the initials of the movie’s title: “F.U.” Get it? Well, if you don’t, first-time feature director Gluck… |
Justin Souther |
02/25/09 |
